Episode I: Father vs. Husband

Your concept of Fatherhood is what’s killing your marriage. -Spirit Guides

Today’s meditation and journaling reminded me of the time I was seeking wisdom from the spirit realm to uncover what was most troubling my marriage. I wrote A LOT. here's the first installment...

After about 30-mins of back and forth spirit said, “your concept of Fatherhood is what’s killing your marriage”. Of course this tripped me the entire hell out. How in the wide world of wacky was my concept of fatherhood destroying my marriage?! I am a great father! Not even just as a “provider” but I am actively involved in my Son’s development, I was there for 36-hours of labor (besides the 3-hours I passed out😬) , I changed diapers because I liked it not because I was asked. Heck, I even spent more time working on being a good father than being a good…wait a minute...‍*smacks forehead*. That is when it hit me. I had been spending more time working on being a good father than I had ever spent working on being a good husband. In fact, I had completely lost sight of defining what being a good husband even was.

As this memory hits me in the present, I feel the emotions deeply all over again. The anxiety of being lost in a wilderness then, makes the muscles in my neck tighten today. But, only for a moment as the tools for healing and forgiveness I have cultivated kick in to gear. While my marriage did end, the lessons and maturation to be a good Husband still continue. I have worked on my work so that I do not ever work over myself again.