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Honoring Your Partner While Staying True to Yourself

My partner and I hold weekly relationship meetings to dedicate time to both praise and shape our relationship. During last week's meeting, we explored this question from our Lover’s Journal, “How can you remain open to your partner's needs while staying true to yourself?" The short [loaded] answer: we must learn to shift as harmony shifts.

A healthy relationship involves a delicate dance between two individuals, sharing experiences, emotions, and needs. However, it's easy to lose sight of oneself while trying to please our partner or to neglect their needs while prioritizing our own. So, how do we strike that balance? We must learn to shift as harmony shifts.

Everybody wants a successful marriage until a successful marriage requires them to give more than they are willing to give.” - Devon Still.

In the pursuit of a successful marriage, Devon Still wisely notes that many falter when faced with the need to give more than expected. To navigate this delicate balance, I teach my relationship clients about polarity mapping. Polarity Mapping involves exploring the interconnectedness of opposing concepts, such as remaining open to our partner's needs while also staying true to ourselves. Sometimes, prioritizing one aspect may seem to contradict the other, leading to potential discord. However, polarity mapping allows us to acknowledge the nuanced spaces where both partners' needs and personal truths can coexist harmoniously. Through exercises designed to illuminate these in-between areas, couples can cultivate understanding and alignment, fostering greater harmony in their relationship.

It is of utmost importance to acknowledge that this is neither easy nor short-term work. Life rarely offers clear-cut solutions; instead, it presents us with nuanced situations that require thoughtful consideration, even when time, energy, and patience are running thin. Understanding that while there may be competition between our truth and our lover’s needs, there is also harmony and balance. And while we might have a full picture of the valuable in-between areas, the daily act of doing is still ahead of us all.

If you and your partner are investing time in building your relationship, I strongly advise learning more about polarity mapping.

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